And yet...

Am I confusing fear and anxiety with the frisson of expectation and discovery?

Or Maybe...

Could it just be a fear of change??

Anyone, Anyone????...

Does anyone else have a fear of succeeding???

Discuss...

Ah, that was Special!

I have a nice warm feeling... ooo, maybe I have to pee... no, it's really one of those fuzzy feelings when someone does something completely unexpected and right from the heart.

A friend of a good friend just made my day by telling me that the tango shoe featured in the last entry was just great. A super-happenin' uber shoe. And for a gal with quite a shoe collection, that was a lovely gesture and a delightful phone call to get at the end of the day before heading off home to indulge my whimsy by whacking away at the gargantuan Lady Banks' roses which are making like many tentacled green octupi by invading my tiny backyard. But that is for another post.

And also for another post, the shoe complimenting phone call has given me an idea for another shoe post. Something that the men will just blip right over, but the women who visit may linger over. Yes, a tour of my shoe collection. I just hope that all will be willing to share their own shoes. We could have a little shoe community... or a LARGE shoe community. Shoe, shoes, shoes....

uh, well... ok... regaining control now. So anyway, I have a nice, fuzzy feeling from an almost stranger about a shoe. When you put it that way.... move along, folks... nothing to see here.

SideSwiped

Evening last my karmic wheel was balanced in a most surprising, gratifying, and painful way.

As you may or may not know or indeed care, Thursday night is tango night. And, due to severe weather last Thursday, I was prevented from attending although I had just procured the appropriate footwear. Yes, GoGo dance in Las Vegas kindly appeared in the top 10 when I googled "tango shoe" and I went forth duly unto that place of much slippered haute couture and stipulated my order and here is the product for your ocular and pedal delectation...

Specially designed with a clever little buckly hooky thangy, ingeniously leg slimming (for even those with the most heiferous calves), delicately balanced to force one onto the toes allowing for just the slightest buttock flex, and a soft suede sole for scampering effortlessly through the molinete, ochos (both forward and reverse), and for a subtle and demure developpe, often referred to as the "caricia" or "caress" after the mordida. 

Upon arrival, I was able to have a brief convo with Dana, who is quite good and wears VERY sexy and VERY high heeled handmade tango shoes in either black matte leather or, as in the case of last night's lesson, drool inspiring soft red suede with embossed leather heels.

Ah, but I get ahead of myself. 

Prior to even leaving the house, I found myself satisfying a pointed desire to roll the special dice and come up with some lottery numbers. No doubt it would not even be a few minutes stop to run into the convenience store on the corner, grab an Evian, and a Two-Step, Lotto, and Mega with my multiplier. Lotto is a curious thing in and of itself. A remote chance of winning an ungodly sum of dineros that one would hardly be able to even fathom and certainly not manage well, despite all thoughts to the contrary. Of course, how many of you have played the lottery game... no, not buying the tickets. The circle of friends with preferred drinkies in hand and the question is invariably, "what is the first thing you would do...??" And then many well though out rejoinders of "get an accountant/lawyer/counsel", "buy my mom/parents/monkey a new house", and so on. We love this game. It makes us feel like even we too, Mr & Mrs Common Person, can have the kind of lifestyle that MrTrump or Johnny Depp does but that we will be much more conscientious and savvy with our windfall.

I am no different - I felt the gravitational pull of the lotto machine calling and so I tripped off in the HotRod and into the On The Run to do that dance in which the little bubbles are filled completely and carefully with a #2 pencil. It was in that moment Owen entered my evening. A portly, middle-aged cashier just beginning/ending his shift, and craftily lending me aforementioned numerical pencil with which to cast my karmic future into the cages of rustling ping-pong balls of destiny. It simply never occurred to me, as a completely irregular lotto junkie, that payment for my chits of kismet would have to be in hard, cold, and now colorful cash. I swept my debit through the slot and looked hopefully at Owen in the same instant as he eyed me pityingly. "You are aware that gambling has to paid for with cash??? Hmmmm??"

I rifled my wallet which on any other day has a little mad money stashed in a far corner, but unfortunately on this night was devoid of even a penny, as I had just been to see the walnut man for my regular 500# of 12/20 crush. "Ock," I cried, "alas, I have no cash, Owen. I surmise that you will have to void my felicitous and bill-laden future." And without missing a single pudgy beat, Owen reached into his own pocket and retrieved his wallet telling me that just this once he would pay for my tickets and my naive water. I gurgled and goggled and gasped. How could this be?? A human in the form of an Owen slipping his hard-earned lucre into the till for my vibratory and universal chance at abundance. Ne'er was a tango clad chica more flummoxed.

Taking up tickets and water, I tripped to my vehicle and drove the remaining few miles to class. And once there, I mentioned not even a jot of this to anyone. I kept that confused, delighted, and humming feeling all to my very own self as I displayed my new dancing clogs to my fellow tango-ers.

And then began the second portion of my karmic equilibration. As this was only my second class, I was still learning the basics. I had noticed in the previous lesson that there was a short warm-up just prior to beginning in which leads chose a partner and they practiced / displayed what they knew / learned. Last night was the same. So the "new guy", Buck* gave me his hand and asked me to dance. I noticed that he seemed to have a bit of liquor on his breath, or maybe just burning off some redundant ketones, who knows, but I thought to myself, "Self.. perhaps to watch the toes." And off around the dance floor we went.... for about 30 seconds and then, as so often happens when a lead has a whole gymnasium-like dance floor in which to guide his partner, we collided nastily with another couple. I know not whether it was someone of the other couple or my still-striding partner who romped upon my foot, but I felt a twanging pain in my left foot. Trying to be a gracious partner, I shrugged it off, and we continued to stumble around the planks.

Class proceeded with the usual frivolity and self-effacing commentary. However, I noticed that the throbbing in my foot was not subsiding but growing distinctly more pronounced. And as my karma would have it, as we adjourned for the evening and I once again found myself sitting beside the adept Dana, taking my shoes off, she asked if they had been comfortable. And as she glanced at my left foot, commented that, "Oooo, I think your toe may be broken." Well, that would explain the burgeoning ache, not to mention swelling and coloration, in my littlest of toes. "Gee, seems you may be right," I noted.

I thanked all my partners and perfunctorily complimented them as I headed for the HotRod and what I knew would be at best an uncomfortable clutch encounter.

So, again for your ocular and pedal pleasure, I present... that old Sesame game, "One of These Things..."

And so my query to you, Dear Reader, has my karma been universally balanced?????

* Yes, "Buck" - that is his real name as I am in no way disposed to protect his un-innocence.

At the ballet

This is definitely NOT what I saw on Saturday night, but an interesting melange to say the least.

Despues...

del HotRod. Puedes mirar antes en un post antes.

Or so I thought

My plan for tonight was to go get some grub from CM, a nice bottle of red, and then sit around in my comfy clothes and do a big bunch of nothing. Which might have included the first season of the The Tudors, or maybe more reading, or working with the bird-o's... right, anything that didn't involve getting back in the HotRod and padding off into the night. 

But now I have been duped into a movie with the girls. Granted they have vino at the movie tavern but not the exactly kind I want (do I sound a tad HM??). And then there's the food thing. And now the time has changed so I have to hurry.

What happened to my lazy friday with me, myself, and I?????

Ah, mostly dribbling

OK... all hype, kinda, a tense several momentitos there. Now I can go back to drinking tea, eating cookie-thangies and reading about Elizabeth.

I'm a big weiner. (or is it that I'd like a big weiner... hum...) let's just leave it at weiners are good, in fact I think I shall have a sticker made.

OK... not funny anymore

OK the f***ing sirens are going off again. I am not finding this amusing anymore. What I fear most about these storms is tht although I have plenty of carry cages for the birds and control over the do-dos, I no longer have a car big enough to put anything bigger than a kleenex in. Last fall I rid myself of the gas-guzzling Colonel Plum (Jeep Grand Cherokee) and now all I have is the hotrod.

Holy Shit---it's here!!! Huge hail

Threatening...

We are in the path of a massive thunder / tornado storm. Even as I write this the sirens are going off near my house. This storm is not so much libido-inducing as anxiety and stress-inducing. 

 AND, I am supposed to have tango lessons tonight...

That you do...

I think my bird is working a second job...... as a VooDoo Priestess. Today I caught her stealing the garlic from my molcajete, flying up to here favorite spot on the etagere, and patrolling the edges whilst waving the giant clove all over the borders and glass - even around the huichol hat that she has pretty much mangled. 

She looks a little startled here:   

mid-voodoo spell. 

I wish she would figure out how to majic away all that bird poop she leaves up there for me. Or make me taller so that I don't have put up scaffolds and rig guy wires to clean up there.

Meanwhile, Sterling is attacking the organic shallots with gusto... maybe to ward off those vampires and werewolfs I've seen lurking under the furniture with the ghost turds.

 Now Jess is strafing me.

Neat-O. I got metaphysical birds.

She turned me into a NEWT...

well, I got better.

Much healthier today thanks to gallons of lovely green tea, and Rimmer!

Funny Cow Shit

This is High-Larious... Thanks, Ap!

Yukala

Today I came home from work feeling icky. I read and napped and then I had this persistent urge to clean the floors and do a little lite "vacuum dusting". Now I feel icky all over again - it's time for my favorite sicky tea - Chamomile with loads of Lavender and yummy heavy cream. Just the thing for a flopping tummy and heaving innards, I say.

So here is sick me...

And here is where I spent my day, apart from the tidying bit. And, of course, this is the straightened-for-your-viewing-pleasure pic... (complete with alien blotches and hovering ghostielooking thangies)

And, this bed has a grand secret...wanna guess??

Ready or Not... Here I come...

At exactly 3:37 am on Thursday, my libido made a cameo appearance. The first since well before "the split". A severe storm raged through our area complete with cackling thunder and shivering lightening. There is not anything like a Texas thunder storm to awaken what is primeval in a body. My window was slightly ajar and through its thinness I could smell the heavy ozonated air, feel the sonic vibrations, and taste the humid approach of the storm cell. Moving quickly and sporting 60+ mph winds, that torment swung violently over my little abode and left me looking up into the darkness of my bedroom and thinking that maybe the body was ready for a new love.

 But is my heart?

Random Sunday Thoughts

"i need more furry socks."

*the undersides of my boobs are SO soft...*

*i like green, both ways*

feel free to add you own random (or condom) comments

Simple Man...

So this is me... my first night.... my first tango lesson...




well, not exactly, but REALLY close (maybe the hair)...

**snork**

Off I go...

Does I looks OK??????

Hot Cha Cha Cha

I have my first Argentine Tango class tonight... I will report.

Gather 'round, Kiddos

Lemme telya little story 'bout a man named "Barth". The recent release of my friend, Barth's, second book, "The Magician and the Fool" is a stupendous and admirable feat of daring-do, if I do say. His first book, "Patron Saint of Plagues" was a futuristic science fiction thriller in the style of say Robin Cook, or somebody else who is really good at combining sci-fi with really exacting medical stuff, plus some good shoot-em-up, and a fair bit of religious idolatry and obfuscation. Go read it.

Then we come to the "Mag and Fo" as I am endearingly referring to it. Barth' s style has matured so much in the between time of these books. Additionally, it is easy to tell that this is some subject matter than he can really get his hands on - the tarot. Something we are all vaguely familiar with, but know that it is for mystics with well-developed insights. Very powerful stuff here. So many times in this book, I got whiffs of other really great sci-fi/historical/fiction writers*, but combined in a most unique and Barth-y way. I was delighted and read this book straight through. Which brings me to my point, I think this book could have been longer, more detailed, and more, more, more. Maybe he'll write a sequel, or prequel - it's hard to know given the fractured time-line of this novel.

If you like anything to do with the occult, historical inquiry, or plot twist with style, you must read this. You Must! The Power of my Hooters Compel You! (hat-tip to Fab) Go immediately to the links and order because Barth needs new shoes and his kids need more Knob Creek... or... anyway. Go get one - I highly recommend it - and Barth is a way cool bald dude!

*at differing points along the way I was put in mind of Dan Simmons "Hyperion", Dan Brown, Stephen King (the Tower series, "The Stand"...) and others too varied to mention, but never in a copycat way. Definitely in a I-am-my-own-writer-in-this-tight-genre-and-I-have-been-inspired-to-new-heights kind of way. Did I mention you should go get a copy?? Go now, before I unleash the .... well...erm... something nasty like the Hounds of the Baskerville, or Smurfs on meth, or well, you know, your nightmare stuff. Now Go, I Tell YOU!!!!!

Gummy Yippie

Today Yippee had his first teeth cleaning at the ripe ol' age of 11, or maybe 12.... I've had him since 1998, so he could be as old as 14 or 15. But he's a great guy,


The Yipster -








It was only when I noticed an incredibly foul miasma emanating from somewhere around my knee region and only when Yippie was in the room, that I had my chopper epiphany.

What the bloody HELL is that virulent smell??? Ah, just the teeth falling out of my dog's head. Well, not that bad, or so I thought. Merrily we went off to see Dr. Bob who is a most wonderful vetty.

But one can hardly imagine my alarm when he called me mid day to announce that he had just yanked 13... yes 13, of my precious dog's teeth. He might as well as said that I was an evil, wicked, and abominable dog-mommy who was proceeding straight to twatty dog-mommy hell and would be having my teeth removed somewhere along the way.

So I got to spend the whole afternoon flagellating myself for my sick-o canine maternal skills. Testament to DrBob's vetting skills, he quickly reassured me that he had seen much worse and that the mighty Yipalonicus would be much more fine now, with many zippy years ahead.

Stay tuned for pics of Yippie sans denticulars (gotta let him sleep off the yummy sleepy drugs first.

God-Damn... oooph, what a fuckin' day!

Evidence in Question

Look-it! There, to the left. Yep, I got a flickr badge on my page. Yep, only took like a whole afternoon - granted not the WHOLE afternoon, but bits and pieces between cussing, googling, retiring to cogitate, and several botched templates. Ooooph. 

Right, I'm an imbecile, you can say it outloud. But dammit, I do have redeeming qualities, they're all just a tad Victorian.

The Perfect Date from Craiglist...

"skin and anal sac problems
Reply to: see belowDate: 2008-03-02, 5:45PM CST

Skin issues??? Too Many visits to the VET? Anal sacs - itching - digestive problems... low energy levels - premature aging , arthritis???? Give us a try -"

Am I setting the bar too high???

Wasted 6 Minutes

4:07, a tad less than an hour to go. I'm bored. I've read everyone's blog, commented where appropriate, stocked those items that have been laying around, written PO's ...

I'm a project oriented person. And, my personal belief is that if I can accomplish my day's work in 6 hours, then I should get paid for 8 and skate. Specially on a Friday. I really shouldn't bitch. Working for the "family business" has its perks, ...

this is complete twaddle. Don't read this. Friday's suck when you're single - it has zippo to do with being bored. Well, bored at work. There will be even less to do at Casa Ingles.

OK now it's 4:15. Fucking bloody hell in a basket of scorpions!!!!

And,

Live Journal sucks too! Why does everyone else have a cool blog and mine is so demented???

*whines, wines, pouts*

The HTML Blues

Blogger templates suck! And, I used to have a cool one set up but I can't remember how I did it and I want a new one and it has to be watery-oceany-fishy with maybe some sharks and coral and stuff, but Oh Crap! this is frustrating and i'm not gonna PAY to have someone set up a silly template 'cause this is just a drunken hobby and ... Damn!

NOT!!!!!! Even!!!!!!!!

I grabbed this little charmer from Maidy... and it is SO wrong.

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

And exactly why i thought it might get it right, I don't know... Just a quaint and retarded quizzlet thangy to pass the time.

Follicular Joy

A couple of weeks ago, I went and got new hair. I had been waiting for some time, letting a nasty perm job burn that gummed up the back middle third of my hair grow out. And for someone whose identity is inextricably, unflaggingly linked to her locks, it was quite the bummer.

So 18 months later and just a couple of inches on the bottom to get rid of, I decided to go for a major trim, and whilst there to get some color for the spring. Here are the results, judge for yourselves, but I LIKE it.

SO this is the view from the part - all claret and champagne. (prolly the only pic I have ever taken where you cannot see up my nose... what the F is that with my nose??)

And dis is de view from de front all ready to go see "Back in Black" - a smokin' AC/DC cover band.

And here are some crappy pictures taken with my CRAPPY RZR phone at the HOB in Dallas...

Here's the Angus fella complete with school boy pants

And this is was the best part... see that little fuzzy haired kid kinda behind the black curtain there to the left?? Well, some kids from a "rock school" were in the audience, and this kid came up... 14 and wailin' on the lead guitar, and that tiny head poking from behind the drum kit is a 10... freakin' 10 year old banging the bongos for all he's worth.

They did T-N-T and it was Dyn-O-Mite!!!

I felt so highschool, except there was no making out... PISS! But otherwise a completely delightful eve with buds... Ra Ra Ra.

Oopy-Do!

I was gonna take a picture of my dinner tonite so y'all could get all drooly and starry-eyed over how yummy it looked, not to mention the taste - Yumalicious. But I couldn't wait to eat it 'cause, well, it looked so yumalicious. So here was this evening's delightful menu:

Parmesan sesame crisps with softened Purple Haze chevre to start

Pan seared tilapia with pistachio crust accompanied by sauteed crimini mushrooms and blanched sugar snap peas

Freshly brewed Jasmine Jazz tea

And a little later I will have some hot organic chamomile and lavender tea with lashings of heavy cream,  and a cute little homemade pecan sandy thangy to put me to bed.

You know that sounds way good!! And good for ya!! Just wish there was a place setting for two.....